Coolest Porn Reviews

Well, I was watching the reviews and I thought that maybe some people wouldn’t understand how the reviews work, so I decided to make this page with the most possible questions you may have, and the respective answers, so let’s do this!!

How does the site work?
We’re going to be updating the site once a day every morning (at least that’s the damn idea, but my bed is so comfy!). We’re going to post a variety of New Releases and Older Movies.

What kind of movies do you review?
We review straight, lesbian, and foreign movies. We’ll review a bisexual, or tranny flick from time to time for the sake of variety. We don’t review gay movies or S&M flicks. We respect people who enjoy S&M and gay movies, but if we review those movies, we’re not going to be unbiased and honest because we don’t personally enjoy them. We can add them in the future when the website gets more steady, and we can hire somebody who enjoys them though.

Do you recommend all the movies in your site?
Nope, we don’t recommend all the movies in the site at all. We are honest in our reviews and if the movie sucked, we’ll say it. If the movie is awesome, we’ll say it too. We won’t recommend a movie lightly because we lose credibility.

If you notice, we were very excited about the Spider-man XXX A Porn Parody release. We followed the movie closely, we were watching for the trailers, and looking for news about it. When we finally got the movie in our hands, we were kinda disappointed because the movie was mostly only sex in costumes, the plot was rushed and almost non-existent.

On the other hand, I wasn’t really that interested in Captain America XXX, but we reviewed it and, it was a very cool flick with some minor flaws but the story was interesting, and the sex very appealing. So, there you have it.

I saw a lot of “boobs in the reviews”, do they mean something?
Yes!! At Coolest Porn Reviews we think that boobs are awesome, so instead of numbers, stars, or asterisks we decided to rate the movie with Pairs of Boobs at the end of the review. We also rate each scene with smaller pairs of boobs.

They look like this:

for the final rating of the movie.

for rating each scene.

Why would you rate the scenes with boobs?
Here’s a sample: Let’s say you’re a fan of Kristina Rose and you saw the review for The Legend of the Magic Taco. The movie is awesome and highly recommended, but you don’t want to spend too much money just to watch her scene.

Well, we reviewed her scene and turns out her scene is worth “five pairs of boobs (awesome)”; then, you can look for the PPM option at the bottom of the review (if available) and spend just the necessary to watch Kristina nail Tommy. That way you don’t have to buy the entire movie.

Whose boobs are those?
Those are my boobs. I don’t recommend you to have a sedentary life with a lot of food around.

Are those prices the cheapest option?
Yes. We lost a lot of time looking for the best options to give you the best and most reliable companies with the cheapest prices.

Well, I see a DVD that interests me and it’s for sale at $39.99. Can you get me a better deal?
Yes. Most new releases are as expensive as a dinner to get laid. However, we double check prices before posting the reviews, and we can find you new releases even at $28.00 (sometimes even less) when in most places you’ll find it at $39.99. That’s almost $12 in savings, and you’ll already know if the movie’s worth it thanks to our review. After they stop being considered new releases, most movies are around $19.99, well, we can get you those prices at 50% Off in some cases.

COOLEST PORN REVIEWS VOD THEATER

How does the VOD Theater works? 
It’s very simple, sometimes you’re going to find the movies we review available in Coolest Porn Reviews’ VOD Theater, streaming rentals are very cheap in our theater than other places. You just click on the “Cheapest Streaming Rental” image, the VOD player, or the New Releases Gallery and you’ll be taken to our VOD Theater to complete a purchase to watch the movie you selected.

Are there any hidden fees included in CPR’s VOD Theater?
No, there aren’t. What you see is what you pay. There are no fees added to your bill, you won’t have to add a payment for federal, local, or any type of taxes at all. If you saw a movie streaming rental costs $1.95, you’re paying $1.95 only!

Is is discreet to buy or rent movies from your VOD Theater?
Yes, it is. There’s nothing like “Hey, this dude bought from Coolest Porn Reviews” in your bank account. You’ll see only letters like WMM, and the numbers of your transaction, nothing that will tell that you’re renting or purchasing porno.

Is there any advice Willy Milano would give me if I want to use CPR’s VOD Theater?
Actually there are a couple of things I want to recommend you.

* You can subscribe for free to our VOD Theater and start a favorites list (wishlist) for future reference. Let’s say, I recommended Gangbanged starring Lisa Ann, and you want to watch it, but you don’t have the time right now, you can simply start a free account, select Gangbanged and add it to favorites. The movie will stay there until you’re ready to comeback and watch it.

* If you want to, you can get a free account with 15 free minutes to watch any scene you want to from any movie. For this, you have to use a credit card to subscribe for the free account. For verification purposes, our VOD Theater will “charge” one dollar ($1.00) from your account. This doesn’t mean you’re getting really charged a dollar, they have to check that your card is valid, and they will return your money within 3 days. But this option will get you 15 free minutes instantly to watch any scene you want to, and remember that you will get your dollar back.

* Make sure you have the latest Media software (Windows Media Player, or Real Player) so you can watch streaming movies. Otherwise, you can use the Silverlight option which is easier to use, and yes, it works as full screen mode too.

PORN COMPANIES, REPRESENTATIVES.

I’m a representative for X company and I’d like you to help us review our material. Can you review our movies?
Coolest Porn Reviews is a three person show so it’s a little difficult for us if you want us to handle a lot of material, but you can contact us at coolestpr@live.com and let us know about your intentions. I know we can sort something out.

PERSONAL

Is Willy Milano Prieto taken?
Yes ladies, Willy Milano Prieto is already married to a very beautiful woman (and I’m not shitting you).